Last weekend I went to one of my best friend’s pirate themed roof party.  As I found myself leaving the party at an obscenely early hour to head back to the bf, their doorman who introduces me to everyone as the favorite of the building and has witnessed many of my shenanigans in the last two years says “You’re slowin’ down kid.  You’re in love… I don’t like you this way.”

I took his words, laughed and thought- “I’m not slowing down! I’m still as fun… not so reckless… okay maybe still reckless, but with someone holding my hand.”

Maybe, I have slowed down.  As the season changes I’ve been having flashbacks of this time last year- what was basically the start of my extreme rock out year.  I was living a life of complete spontaneity.  I had no commitments, wasn’t tied to anything… I guess the best way to describe it was that if for any reason a band were to ask me to suddenly go on tour with them, I could pick up and just go.  I was in a non-relationship with a musician who worked at a bar and could easily have been on latfh (not to mention he was practically homeless), hanging out with the night owls and party kids, going on weeklong benders with touring bands, etc. and so forth.

That being said, though I’ve slowed down in one area of my life, I’ve picked up the pace in another.  I’m currently living a life filled with many commitments and a lot more structure, but I’m living just as fast.  And all the people I met and the adventures I had during the past year has actually helped me and shaped me to be able to do what I’m doing now.  I’ve swung a little bit left of center, but I think that I’m getting close to the right balance.  A state of equilibrium where I can still have this amazing social life and a successful work life/relationship.

Who knows, maybe I’m being naive and it’s not possible… but I figure why not give it a try.  And if it’s not possible, there is such a thing as making sacrifices to live the life you want to live.

(Oh, and Bob the doorman was right… I am in love. But I like it this way… so I’m just gonna keep on doing what I’m doing.)