Over the break I got an email from a crazy bitch ex-gf of a guy who I had been am seeing and was am really excited about. I won’t go into the details of it, but let’s just say I read said email and immediately got light headed and threw up.
Sure there was confusion, some boozin’ (ok maybe a lot of boozin), crying (ew god why am i admitting to that), entertaining any present company with my (i guess funny) relationship hating comments/random outbursts of expletives, and hefty discussions via text, facebook chat, skype, and on the phone to work things out. Throughout this whole process however, I started making a list of great things that came out of all of this.
This is that list.
- i lost my appetite. seriously, it’s great. i mean, i don’t know how long i’ve been trying to count calories, and diet, and stop drinking beer, or whatever. all i had to do was get an emotionally disturbing email from some girl? should keep that in mind for the future. skinny bitches ftw
- i was beginning to ruin my image by being so happy and sickeningly positive all the time (srsly, ask my office… or just read my bnters. it was getting really ridiculous). i’m happy to have my edge back. #illcutyou
- i was inspired to get behind a drum kit and bang out some aggression… i’ve been lazy about getting into the studio to keep playing and just needed that extra push as I listened to this song over and over again on repeat
- though her intentions were to show me how much of an asshole this boy that i’m dating could be, the thing is… i’m sort of glad that she did- because i was really starting to get freaked out by the fact that he was so seemingly perfect, and sweet, and nice… too nice. like really. i can’t handle too nice guys. i’m glad to know he can be a dick, because i can be a dick too (NOT TO SAY I WANT HIM TO BE A DICK LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN. EVER.)
- i realized how LUCKY I am… absolutely fucking lucky to have such an amazing ex who isn’t a crazy psycho (like exes of the past). i look back at the relationship that I had with Jacob and how it ended because it was ready to end (much to some blog readers’ dismay, as I still get ask box questions about whether we are together). i’m glad it didn’t end because of some awful fight in which we were trying to hurt each other, and that he’s just not fucking crazy in general. it makes me appreciate him so much more, as an ex, as the most normal relationship i had been in ever, and as a friend, and i remember why i decided to get his name tattooed on me on a whim. because i knew that no matter what was going to be the outcome of our relationship i wouldn’t have any regrets
- at the end of the day you think, is it worth trying again with someone who hurt you. and then you realize, you’re hurt now. and if you try and they hurt you again, you’ll be exactly where you’re at right now, just at a later date. but if you try and they prove themselves to you like they say they will, you’re giving yourself the chance to be happy again
- if they DO hurt you again, you haven’t told your best friend on tour, who preemtively already warned “If he breaks your heart I’ll break his legs” about what happened, because you didn’t want to quite cash in on that favor yet… but he’s totally ready if round 2 should ever happen again. and he’s got a pretty heavy bass guitar that i’m pretty sure could smash some knees in. just for you.
- in a new act of self discipline, (and new years resolutions) i’m learning to not do things out of spite, or play any games because that is a vicious cycle that can’t be destroyed. in all of that, you’re just setting yourself up for destruction, and while i’m the pro at destroying everything i touch, there are some things you realize you might want to just not.
Also, is that why they call it a holiday break? is that like a thing?
