“People come in and out of the scene like seasons. When I haven’t seen someone in a while, I know that I’ve probably lost them to an overdose… or a relationship. When these new relationships start, it’s always with the best intentions that nothing will change. But slowly and gradually it happens. The new couple starts to leave the parties earlier and earlier until eventually they start hosting dinners at home instead. People bring wine and they talk about their little projects. Like the one’s they’re developing together, a catering business or a clothing store or a fashion line and they talk about how they’ve started going to the gym and they’re doing cardio and that they have an awesome personal trainer with a Russian name. They’re being more “productive”. They’re “growing up”. Eventually, there are less dinners, or rather, the kids “not-in-relationships” get invited less and less and the lovely couple suddenly disappears. Off the radar, just like that, and the party people stop trying to call, and everybody’s life just goes on.
And it’s always when I least expect it, you know, when I’ve finally found peace with my new dancing partners for “Lust For Life” and Arcade Fire and when I have new people to do Petron shots with, that one of them re-appears again with a brand new haircut and some cute clothes telling me and everyone else how they really lost themselves in that last relationship. It was good, they don’t regret it, but New York City isn’t made for settling down. They can’t wait to re-connect with themselves and their old friends again. But, you know, it’s never as comfortable as the last time around. There’s too many new faces. The party names have changed, the DJs are “mixing harder”, and after the over-emotional, over-compensating hugs that last as if we were Vietnam vets reunited, they realize that they have changed too and that they have nothing in common.”
2 fears that I have had were a fear of relationships and a fear of dropping off the social scene. I’ve always felt both go hand in hand. I was able to conquer one, but does that mean the impending result of the other? So many people have been freaking out over losing tumblarity. That doesn’t mean so much to me as losing IRL ‘popularity’ (friends no longer asking me to come out, not being the first person that comes to mind when people need to find out where to go or what to do, not being so embedded in the scene, etc. and so forth). As Bronques mentions, it starts with the intentions that nothing will change. I’m making that attempt at both worlds. I suppose I won’t really know what’s going to happen, and just hope that things don’t change… and if it does, be in a place where it won’t matter if they do.
(link via ronenreblogs)
